a couple of birds

It occurred to me on a rather pensive evening that when looking for a mate, a partner, a companion, should we not look for a similar version of ourselves?

If we were to write down a list of everything we loved about ourselves, it would hopefully run pages, chapters and volumes. It would be physical things such as dark hair and personality traits such as humor. It would be detailed, like holding the door for people or helping a lady bug off of a boy’s back before he went inside the gym (the lady wouldn’t have stood a chance!) If we listed all the traits we were proud of and the things that we liked, it should somewhat mirror that of our future mate. After all, we cannot love another without loving ourselves first. We cannot fully appreciate another without being grateful for who we are. If your modesty is holding you back from wrapping your arms around yourself and squeezing hard, then write down traits you aspire to have. As much as we might think we have been looking down the right street, we have actually taken many wrong turns. This is fully exemplified in our track record of unsuccessful relationships.

Perfect example: If you like to wake up early why on earth would you date someone that loathes the 8 a.m. morning sun and wants to hibernate under the covers until way past lunch time? It just doesn’t make sense. You end up fighting him/her to change and wake up with you, but it leaves you both tired and miserable. If you like to sleep late, write it down. Look for someone else that likes to sleep late. (I feel sorry for this couple; the days are already short enough as it is) If you don’t like to watch TV, why in this universe would you spend your time with someone who has every single prime time show TiVo’d.

I enjoy various types of music. Although I prefer one genre to another, I only have two genres I can’t do. Country and metal. I do not and will not understand, so I don’t listen. If I dated someone that knew every word to Tim McGraw songs and worshiped the Insane Clown Posse, then I would be on prescription medication. I would write down that I would want someone that liked an assortment of artists. (hey, maybe we could trade ipods!)

After researching through a variety of mediums, I have concluded that the reason why married couples and awful partnerships are eye-sores are because these people are sharing their life with someone who is not a thing like them, therefore they spend their energy trying or hoping they will change. Since they both don’t enjoy the same things, they get no pleasure in coupling activities or daily conversational topics. Now, in no way am I saying that a Republican and a Democrat or a vegan and a carnivore can’t live under one roof and share a bed, but think of it this way: If you wanted to procreate and your partner didn’t? … “see ya!” I mean come on! People that get married and then discover that their husband or wife doesn’t ever want to have kids? HOW DO YOU NOT TALK ABOUT THIS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO SPEND YOUR LIFE TOGETHER! DO YOU EVEN KNOW THEIR MIDDLE NAME?

If you are a traveler, a nomad for example, don’t you dare write down that you’re looking for someone that wants to settle down. It’s not your nature! There is no prescription for a travel bug. You’d be better off looking for a friend that likes to travel and who enjoys eating the same foods you do and magically falling in love then being stuck in suburbia where, I believe, aliens roam. Do you like folding your clothes after you wash them or are you more of a thrower on the coucher? This is a big deal here! If you are a slob, don’t be with a clean freak. You will want to spray Lysol in their food after too many months. And don’t even get me started on making the bed in the morning.

Look at your friends. List all of their qualities and traits. They will most likely be similar to yours. You will have the same likes. You may not have the same dislikes and that’s amazing because it opens up new ideas, new challenges, and new likes. But start to look around at your friends and look at the things you enjoy. They will probably be similar to the list of things you love about yourself, therefore should be on the list of things for your mate. (It’s one big list!)

If we had a replica of ourselves in front of us, it would be quite the opposite of what I’m implying here, because unfortunately, we are not as wonderful as we might think and it would surely stir unwelcomed thoughts and boredom on a scale that could be terrifying. If you and your partner had every single interest, every food craving, every activity in common, then I’d rather just spend my days by myself. The whole point is to be challenged and educated, thrilled at the thought of her or him walking through the door with a good story, a funny joke or some fresh bread and a bottle of Chianti (take note). But if I’m sitting next to someone for the rest of my life that doesn’t have a love for punctuation and hates iron & wine, then really, it’s just not going to go anywhere. I mean have you read Eats, Shoots & Leaves? Come on!

We must laugh at the same things or else I’m going to give you weird looks at things that, really, just aren’t that funny. And I’d really like it if we could name 10 things in 10 seconds of things we like to do and 6 of them be similar. That’d be really nice. If you wear your shoes in the house and only take them off before you go to sleep, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you. For the next 80 years I will be trying to pry your shoes off to feel the hardwood floor on your feet while we are cooking dinner and I just don’t have the energy for that. You don’t like to cook? Stop reading this.

Anyways, enjoy being by yourself for now because darling, you are marvelous. Gorgeous. Extraordinary. Start looking in the mirror more often.

a little shade

Likes: Broccoli. Only because it looks like a little tree. I like to stand them all up at once on my plate and make a forest.

Thao with the Get Down Stay Down

Thao with the Get Down Stay Down in my living room from Yours Truly on Vimeo.

Thoreau.

All Good Things are Wild and Free - Thoreau

Sophia Loren: the precedent of beauty

a journal filled with photographs

My most precious finds have always been those of little to no cost. They’re the random one dollar vintage sweaters found on an unlikely street corner while innocently walking to breakfast. Or a borrowed worn in t shirt that feels better just because it’s someone else’s. Or those shoes you bought on sale for 10 dollars when everyone else paid $210 just to have them right then.

A best friend and I were having a conversation composed of theoretical questions pertaining to what we would lunge for first in case of emergency in the house. Our emergency of choice, a fire.

The first thing we both decided on, with little doubt, was pictures. Pictures, in essence, beyond the 19 cents it costs to print them, are indeed priceless. They are the foundation of memories lost and memories one hopes never to lose. They are the reminders of beautiful events or feelings expressed in a past instant. Photographs let you hold on, even when you know you should let go. And they also remind us of who we never want to let go of.

After going through which exact pictures we would throw in our bags in record timing due to the now expanding pseudo fire, I looked around and although my computer and camera, speakers and Italian memorabilia screamed at me to take them next, I realized that I didn’t care. I could carry on, leaving them behind without a second thought.

Books were my next thought alongside various newspaper and magazine clippings over the years. Music, of course, came into consideration when I saw my little external hard drive sitting there on my desk with tears rolling down its eyes to be in the bag for escape. And I will admit, if I have five extra seconds before I flee, I will grab it. It does hold the music, which is partly the definition of who I am.

Then I remembered it….My journal. Lord my journal. A gift. To me, free. Filled with my conscious. Filled with thoughts transcribed into old paper, binded together in a thick cover, decorated with dark browns and reds laced with gold, all so I could throw it in my bag on the way to the park or carry it away quickly in case of emergency.

This led me to think of notes. Notes left to me, notes I have yet to send, notes I have written down to write someone with intentions to mail or give, but couldn’t find the right time to do it.

These… are what I would bring in my emergency. These photographs, notes and journals would be all I need. And if, in fact, these pages were to burn, these photographs were to be lost and these notes were to be blown away, I’m sure I wouldn’t even remember what they all said or captured, because we move on each day to something new, and that’s the beauty of having nothing to lose.

With this imaginary reflection brought on other thoughts. I have nice shoes. I have nice jackets and nice dresses. I have a great car and a camera. I have an ipod and a computer to blog with. But as I looked around, all the things that meant more to me and the things that I found myself always going towards are the things that cost little to nothing at all. The cheapest things, the sale items, the street finds, and the hand-me-downs are always the best things. Gifts, handwritten cards, photographs capturing laughter, a moment of innocent happiness, things lost that I found, bargains and pass downs.

And now, as I am thankful there is no fire, that an emergency is not near, I can only be grateful to have these things, and be okay to lose them.

Scarf, $ 4

Slippers from Italy, 6 euros

Rings, my grandmother’s and mother’s, free

Scarf & bag, gifts from my beautiful Guatemalan roommate in Italy, free

my mother’s necklaces, free

Lepidoptera

My butterflies,
they fluttered all the way down
to my fingertips.
And then,
floated all around me,
and landed on my
heart,
tonight.

A collection of my favorite poems from my favorite anonymous poet

For you,
A little golden poem.
Not gripped in tragedy
love
but like a kiss,
at least I hope
should it touch your mouth
like a little golden bee
to unwind in you what needs to be open

The things I hope.

For you
are like castles.
IMMENSE and open,
burgeoning in Spanish courtyards
singing
Que Sera, Sera!
There,
I hope
You find a place to connect constellations
and listen to sleeping children.
that your laughter remains
simple,unpretentious
like a kiss!
In that way, should it touch your lips
like a little golden bee,
gently beating
its little wings

you pollinate the world.

-----------------------------

The more I try to overlook you, the more pieces of you I find.
For instance,
Pictures, tucked away in forgotten books.
Berets and the myriad trappings you used for beauty, (that really my darling, you never really needed.)
The long sinews of black hair that still attend to the porcelain and towels while you have been away
and the smell of orchards, that you grew in your sleep still stir my sheets and linen, bringing them to life.
Even after all this time.

I wonder what you are doing.
If boys and summer are alive on your windowsill,
offering open hands and doves.
I wonder how much longer I will wait upstairs.
Anxiously listening for the clamor of your arrival, knowing that behind it, is the soft phonic of your voice,
come to paint my room azure and fill the pocket of my chest.
I wonder these things
I wonder these things and miss you

dedicated to my muse.


- to my anonymous craigslist poet who breaks my heart with each beautiful word.

I am, a little bit of every person I have ever met

my one true love

Not only does magic hat produce the best beer in the whole world, but it also gives its sippers life lessons when they pop open their bottle caps to take a nice crisp swig.
Yes, I've gotten weird looks when I tell people that I rely on magic hat caps to give me inspiration and a reason to move forward, but I clearly don't care.

Dear magic hat,
I love every 12 oz of you and with each sip you steal even more of my heart and memory.
love, lauren.

I collect them all and have them laying around my desk and work space for inspiring thoughts and ideas.
I close my eyes and reach to the top of my shelf and grab one.
Some people read quotes from Aristotle or the Bible in the morning to start their day, I drank a magic hat and save the cap in my wallet.

My favorite cap, which still makes my heart skip a beat:

"Enjoy a heart, it's a work of art" (sigh)

on tap or in the bottle, you can't beat a magic hat in your right hand and good conversion on your left. my favorite bartenders are the ones that get excited about the top as much as I do and give it to me without asking. They always get 100 % at the end of the night.

If you don't know what my favorite beer is, you are not my friend. Stop reading this.

Magical Hatteras:
"The Ancient Ritual of brewing a distinctly rich and flavorful beer is nothing short of magic. Our mysterious mix of time-honored ingredients, chaotic chemistry, humble patience, and blind faith age into the secret brew we share in the rousing company of good spirits.

"Feel Strange at least twice a Day"
"Beer for peace"

"And no Oompa-Loompas"

"Music Soothes our Savage Yeast"

"Ingredients: Beer"