My Biggest Fear Has Become A Reality

Jellyfish. I’m not sure when or where the paranoia began, but since I can remember jellyfish have been on my “biggest fear” list, always sitting in the number 1 spot. I am so terrified of jells (as they are commonly called by my entourage of childhood friends) that even while lounging on the deck of a boat and peering over to see a mound of red blooded jelly floating next to the huge protective boat will send me into panic mode that will only cease once safe on dry land. In the ocean you will not see me frantically making sure sharks are not biting my ankles, but instead I will be scanning the ocean and waves on top of someone’s back to make sure that the jellies are no where to be scene. Even walking along the beach, I have my keen eye locating all of the washed up (still stingable) jells waiting to penetrate their next victim.

Here’s the real kicker about my biggest fear: I have never been stung. Now, I have come so close to being tingled by their tentacles and brushed upon while I was casually sunbathing in the water, but not once have I felt the mark that the fish can leave. On numerous occasions and on one trip in particular to the river I have come close to drowning a friend, literally killing someone, in order to protect my precious skin from being wrapped around by the two foot long tentacles. My dear friend had his entire face and stomach slaughtered by the sting of the fish, but I sat on the jet ski gasping for breath as I almost had to be rushed to the hospital due to a panic attack while he was in the river being swallowing by a man-of-war. Now THAT is what you call a true friendship, (thanks Connor).

So for no good reason I am petrified of gelatin substances that float mindlessly through water secretly knowing who to sting and for how long (even though experts will disagree). Since jellyfish are apparently taking over the water (and soon the world) I can only warn beach and river goers to WATCH OUT for the jells that seem to be growing in size and number, flourishing in warm, polluted waters, and are coming after you. Jaws, eat your heart out.