"It often seems to me that the night is much more alive and richly colored than the day"

I get most of my ideas about life when I'm driving.

I keep about three blank notepads and at least four working black ballpoint pens in my left side door for my periodic moments of “eureka!” thoughts. They come frequently. Most of the time I can’t decipher my handwriting when I look back at my moments of glory, so I end up throwing away what could be Nobel prize winning ideas.

Inspiration comes from everywhere. Literally. But people who inspire you, are treasures. I have a best friend, “B” (I have a habit of calling people by the letter of their first name), who is the definition of inspiration. In the darkest of times or the worst of days, I am myself and the self that I love when I am around him, talking, listening. My favorite part of my personality, my best sense of humor and the loveliest optimist pours out like Niagara Falls. He, is one of the greatest human beings to roam the earth. Meet him.

I've come to understand that music changes your life. It electrifies your soul and cues all your pain. I have realized this through various music that spontaneously pops up in my iPod shuffle that seems to fit my mood exactly without me even realizing what mood I'm in. Music helps you realize the cornerstones in your life and the mountains you have overcome. Music that you have secretly taken off your computer or that you make sure is never turned up on the radio because of the attachment it has on your feelings. Then one day it comes on your shuffle mix and you realize you can listen to the whole thing and enjoy it because it has no attachment to the past anymore. It is a realization that you are getting over things, that you are finally moving on and that you are completely and utterly happy. It’s music that breaks your heart, throws you to the ground, yet sometimes is the only thing that can lift you back on your feet again. It has the potential to break you and put you back together at the same time. Powerful? Understatement.

I love long dresses when I’m listening to music. So long that when I stand on my tip toes when the best part of the song comes on, the dress still drags on the tops of my feet. So long that my legs get entwined in the fabric as the song plays and drags behind me when I turn slow circles in my room. Long dresses make music tangible. A couple more for breakfast, a little more for tea. Some songs should last forever.

I am quite possibly the luckiest person in the world. Vincent Van Gogh once said "the best way to know God is to love many things". I have the best friends anyone could ask for. I love them all and am known to be very forward and frequent in letting them know this. They are my family, my joy, my heart. They have showed me love and comfort and the simplest ways to be happy. I know an angel. She is quite possibly the closet person to God I have ever met. When she walks into a room you feel His presence. It's incredible.

The world is full of love. That’s it. And when there’s darkness, love is always creeping near. Love shown to strangers and humanity in itself brings tears to my eyes. The Liberty Mutual Insurance commercial of people helping each other, leading to a domino affect of kindness makes me cry every time. Life is too short for jobs we hate, for people we aren’t sure about and for opportunities missed.

I never know what I want. I think I do most times but end up changing my mind within minutes. I change my mind more in one day than the amount of babies born daily.

Have lovers. Have friends. Have sheer pleasure. Eat lots of honey mustard.

Perfume. Where memories are reborn and lost thoughts are recaptured, some wanted and others very much unwanted. Smell is the best and worst trigger of memories.

I don't think I believe in true love. I believe in success. Although, Death Cab for Cutie’s song Follow You Into the Dark doesn't help me keep this mentality. How life would be if you loved someone so deeply and they loved you even more, that when you died, the other's heart died too. We are the most hurtful to the ones we love the most. We feel that no matter the limit of pain, they will always be there. And distance, unfortunately, does not make the heart grow fonder.

My sister showed me a website, To Write Love On Her Arms, and I found the most beautiful quote from their art...

“Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom; tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.”

Oh. And dream dictionaries are fact. They never lie. Next time you have a weird dream, look it up and see if it matches up to your life. It will. I promise.